Still Working....

on these stupid questions for our home study! I am telling you what, I think this has been more difficult than any writing assignment I ever had, college included. We have 8 questions that we have to answer individually. Once submitted, we can schedule our visits. This is much easier said than done. I put off the questions for as long as I could stand, because they were so overwhelming. Now, it's crunch time and we are having a really hard time with them! I have 4 answered, and 4 to go. The thing is.... there are much more than 8 questions. It's 8 CATEGORIES of questions. It's like a writing assignment and therapy session in one. Seriously..... I have had to look deeeeeep within myself and be really honest with myself to answer these questions. Not easy. Chad hates writing, and claims he isn't good with words- he was when we were dating though. :) So he isn't even as far as I am. I am getting very frustrated with both of us. Or the questions. I hate them. I have set unofficial deadlines, which we never meet. Tonight was the most recent one... I wanted to have them done tonight. Some how the day got away without much progress on them. There is always just so much to be done, and never enough time! Story of everyone's life, I'm sure.

Anyways... those stupid questions are my complaint of the day. One point of progress is that Chad has appointment with a CPA tomorrow to talk about the adoption tax credit. Hopefully we will have a better understanding of how it works and what we are working with. We are also hoping that he will give us some ideas as far as finding someone to lend us the money we need until we get the tax credit. Our financial consultant sent us to him, and said that he is on the board of a local bank (where we just happen to have our adoption fund set up), and that he may have some ideas of programs, etc. that would be helpful to us. We are hoping and praying that we can find a place or person to loan us the money we will need, and just accept that we will pay them with our credit rather than monthly payments. We can't afford another monthly payment. Once we figure out if and how much money we can get, we hope we will be able to make a decision on agency vs. attorney. I mean, we obviously need to talk to each of them more too..... but unfortunately, money is the determining factor for now.

I was talking to my friend Sam tonight, and telling her at our timeline for the rest of the home study. We HOPE to be done around Thanksgiving. Of course she had to mention that it would be an awesome Christmas present to get a baby. Well, yes absolutely.... but not likely. I hate to be negative, but I would rather be surprised than disappointed. :) I know our baby is out there somewhere, or will be. God is waiting for just the right time for us to find out about him/her.... and it will be perfect. Maybe it will happen quickly, maybe it won't. All we can do is pray, and look forward to the day that we can be mommy and daddy to a sweet baby!

Jumping In!

I've had this account set up since July, but today I am finally posting! Why did I wait this long? Wish I had an answer, but I don't know. Life has been very busy, but isn't it always? :) My lovely husband gave me a VERY early birthday present tonight- a MacBook! Woo hoo! Way too much $, but our computer was about to die, and he knows how I am with all of this adoption research, etc. He's a sweetie, and I love the computer. Decided I would be it to good use and get this blog going! Since I set up the account, a lot has happened!...

We are weeks away from completing our home study- thank goodness! It has been much more tedious than I every imagined, but also very exciting at times. On August 3, our family and friends put on a fundraiser for us at Pizza Hut. It was incredible to see and feel all of the support that night. Most humbling experience of my life. We raised enough $ to pay for our home study, the paper and printing for our profiles and birth mother letters- postage and all, with money left over to go towards our other expenses. Since then it's been paperwork. Paperwork. And more paperwork. Physicals, background checks, etc. etc. This past Saturday we went to see about refinancing our house to pay for some of the expenses... didn't go as we had planned, but it was good anyways. We got some good ideas, and now we have other options to look into. 

Currently we cannot decide which route to go. We had originally planned on going the private route and finding our own birthmother, but now we are second guessing that. We found an agency that is more affordable, and who is in need of families open to African American or biracial babies, which we are. They are saying that the wait for a match is about 3-9 months right now.... which is VERY tempting! However, we would still have to find the money. We know we will get a large tax credit, but we still have to find the money to have in the first place. I hate that this is all about money. It sucks. Bad. We also found an adoption attorney who sounds very good, and is extremely nice. He does not have a concrete idea of a wait time, though... but claims that for sure under 2 years. I don't know if I can do 2 years, but I have to remember that is the longest he is saying. Could be weeks for all we know. The up side to going with him is money. Of course. We would be looking at around $10,000 or so less going this way. Why does this have to be so overwhelming and confusing and just plain hard?!?! Geesh!

Whatever we do, however long it takes, we will make it through together. At the end of all this is the ultimate prize... our baby. That makes all this bearable and worth every struggle. To our baby.... wherever you are, we love you. We think of you every day. We are working hard to find you, and we long for the day you are in our arms!!!