Jumping In!

I've had this account set up since July, but today I am finally posting! Why did I wait this long? Wish I had an answer, but I don't know. Life has been very busy, but isn't it always? :) My lovely husband gave me a VERY early birthday present tonight- a MacBook! Woo hoo! Way too much $, but our computer was about to die, and he knows how I am with all of this adoption research, etc. He's a sweetie, and I love the computer. Decided I would be it to good use and get this blog going! Since I set up the account, a lot has happened!...

We are weeks away from completing our home study- thank goodness! It has been much more tedious than I every imagined, but also very exciting at times. On August 3, our family and friends put on a fundraiser for us at Pizza Hut. It was incredible to see and feel all of the support that night. Most humbling experience of my life. We raised enough $ to pay for our home study, the paper and printing for our profiles and birth mother letters- postage and all, with money left over to go towards our other expenses. Since then it's been paperwork. Paperwork. And more paperwork. Physicals, background checks, etc. etc. This past Saturday we went to see about refinancing our house to pay for some of the expenses... didn't go as we had planned, but it was good anyways. We got some good ideas, and now we have other options to look into. 

Currently we cannot decide which route to go. We had originally planned on going the private route and finding our own birthmother, but now we are second guessing that. We found an agency that is more affordable, and who is in need of families open to African American or biracial babies, which we are. They are saying that the wait for a match is about 3-9 months right now.... which is VERY tempting! However, we would still have to find the money. We know we will get a large tax credit, but we still have to find the money to have in the first place. I hate that this is all about money. It sucks. Bad. We also found an adoption attorney who sounds very good, and is extremely nice. He does not have a concrete idea of a wait time, though... but claims that for sure under 2 years. I don't know if I can do 2 years, but I have to remember that is the longest he is saying. Could be weeks for all we know. The up side to going with him is money. Of course. We would be looking at around $10,000 or so less going this way. Why does this have to be so overwhelming and confusing and just plain hard?!?! Geesh!

Whatever we do, however long it takes, we will make it through together. At the end of all this is the ultimate prize... our baby. That makes all this bearable and worth every struggle. To our baby.... wherever you are, we love you. We think of you every day. We are working hard to find you, and we long for the day you are in our arms!!!